Life is content

Writing here after a long time, the last time I wrote a blog if I remember it right was when I was heartbroken. I like to think I have come a long way from there. As a person, I feel more mature. I am able to keep my temper in check. (Most of the times at least). I feel this is what financial security does to you. Or it is something that happens when you are financially balanced. There was a time not so long ago when I couldn’t afford to buy anything for myself. I remember one time I didn’t have the money to repair the puncture on my car tire and I drove home with the punctured tire. Another time, tire punctured, I was dropping a few colleagues on the way and I had to ask my friend/colleague to pay for the repair. Luckily it was only some 100+ and I could pay him the next day. Oh, I have seen the lows in life. I had hit rock bottom. I think I did stay strong during those times. I didn’t show how vulnerable I was. I used to feel bad that I couldn’t afford to do anything for anyone. Not even buy them a small gift for their birthdays. I used to feel bad about everything in life. How unlucky I was. But one think even at the worst point of my life, I was compassionate. I helped in whatever way I could. Though I alienated all friends and hardly stepped out when I had to spent money. I remember going to church and praying for only one thing. To be financially secure. Money was such an important thing. Am scared to be happy, things are going well with me. And I don’t know what bad news awaits me at the corner. I am particularly scared of my health. I need to see a dentist. It’s very important. But I think it will break this happy, content bubble I am living in. If you ask me I want to go see a dentist now and my gut says there is something bad and I need to get treated yesterday.